Recovery happens.

When I was looking for help for my sexual and relationship compulsions in 2001, I struggled to cope with shame and the lack of resources for women. It was hard to come by, but eventually I found help and was able to get sober, get emotionally stable, and go on to help others as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. It was a long, painful journey, and I wrote a book about it called "Naked in Public: a Memoir of Recovery from Sex Addiction and Other Temporary Insanities" as a way to offer a roadmap for others with similar struggles, or their loved ones.

As my therapy practice grew, I began to work with men who loved female sex addicts, and witness the tremendous pain they suffered in these relationships. I tried to find more resources to offer them, and quickly realized that my past difficulty to find help was mirrored in theirs - but even more so. They faced confusion, stigma, no resources for themselves, minimal resources even for their partners, and virtually NO gender-specific support. 

This website was created to change that, as well as offer a gesture of amends to the men I harmed as an untreated female sex and love addict. With effort and focused support over time, sex and love addiction can be replaced by heart-centered relationships with self and others, creating an ever-renewing potential for intimacy. But whether or not an addict finds recovery, those who love them can.

In 2023, I realized with feedback of wise men in recovery, and my colleagues, it was time to broaden the focus of this site to ALL MEN who suffer betrayal of ALL KINDS. Now, we seek to include help for men who love women who may not identify as sex and love addicts, but who have betrayed them nonetheless. We include emotional and sexual betrayal, and expand to include financial, social-reputation, parental alienation, and many other types of betrayal. We include the gay man’s experience of betrayal by his male partner. I’m sure over time, as we learn more about men’s unique experiences, we will expand even further.

Thank you for joining me on this exciting recovery journey, where we can move from wound to wisdom, grief to relief, together.

In gratitude and hope,

BE the CHANGE.

This website is a resource for men who seek gender-specific validation and support for their experiences of loving and being committed to women, or men, who have betrayed them. Though I created this template for the original site, my visions is that ongoing leadership for its expansion will be run by men on the journey of recovery.